spiritual warfare

“There is a war going on. All talk of a Christian’s right to live luxuriously “as a child of the King” in this atmosphere sounds hollow — especially since the King himself is stripped for battle.”
-John Piper

i think i could sum up the past few days of my life in two words. spiritual warfare. seemingly every sector of my life has felt as if it was under attack— and at times crumbling under such attacks. emotionally, i have been feeling so heavily burdened with lies. whether these lies be about myself, my personality, my family, my friends, my past, my body, my upcoming trip, my life goals… you name it, chances are good that some time  during this past week i have succumbed to a lie in that area. i cried today over the prospect of having to wear basketball shorts. CRIED. in hindsight, i am fully aware that this is absolutely pathetic however i think it goes to show how convincing these lies are/the repercussions of my believing these lies. i have also noticed an overall creeping discontentment, lack of self-control and patience, a temptation to lie and exaggerate in order to gain approval, and the list goes on and on and on.

not since the weeks immediately before and after giving my life to Christ during summer i attended kaleo have i experienced spiritual warfare like this. after typing the previous sentence, a quote that i wrote on the wall next to my bunk bed last year flashed through my heavy and feeble mind. 

“It has been well said that before God uses a man greatly, he must first break him greatly.”

… and for this, I rejoice.